Winners & Losers: Coors gets less watery while LuluLemon assumes corpse pose

Still not sure what “Certified Cold” means

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▲ MillerCoors

<insert joke about watery american beer>

Coors Light: not so watery, as it turns out!

Canadians love to mock American beer. It is light tasting, low in alcohol and watery, right? Not so fast. It’s absolutely true that Yankee beer tastes weak and some of it has about as much booze as a glass of milk. But—some of it is now less watery than it used to be. Or, at least, they’re using a lot less water to make it: MillerCoors announced this week that they’ve reduced their water consumption by 9.2% over the past two years, saving roughly one billion barrels of water. How did they do it? They cut their usage by recycling waste water to fuel their boilers, checking for leaky equipment and using sensors to control irrigation on their farms. Now, only if there was a sensor to make Coors Light taste better.

 LuluLemon

Board tunes out out Chip Wilson

Chip Wilson wondering where his board members went

Remember the good old days—like, three years ago—when the markets loved Lulu? Oh, the company must be nostalgic for those times, when the only things journalists discussed were the company’s huge profits and its ability to make anyone’s butt look good in a pair of yoga pants. But over the past year, the company has endured a series of embarrassments: soft sales, see-through pants and insensitive comments about plus-sized woman by founder Chip Wilson. This week, the dog continued to spiral downward. First, Wilson issued a press release, saying he disagreed with the appointment of two highly regarded board members. A day later, the company announced its first quarter profits were cut in half from the previous year. With all these problems, company executives are likely muttering something other than “Namaste” under their breath.

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