| BIG LOSER |
McDONALD'S
BRING ME THE HEAD OF MAYOR McCHEESE! (OH WAIT ...)
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Someone call Officer Big Mac—there’s trouble in McDonaldland. Coming as a surprise to almost no one but McDonald’s itself, the fast-food chain’s recent Twitter campaign, intended to solicit 140-character warm and fuzzy memories about that time you bonded with your dad over chicken McNuggets, backfired faster than you can say, “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese.” Instead of stories reflecting the dining paradise depicted in McDonald’s commercials, patrons shared a barrage of unappetizing Tales from the McKitchen—many of which were vomit-related—quickly making the #McDStories hashtag a social media-marketing cautionary tale. McDonald’s officially put a stop to the campaign within two hours, but Filet-O-Fish survivors have claimed it as their own, and the McDStories continue. In other company news, McDonald’s USA announced it has ceased the use of ammonium hydroxide in preparing its beef. Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver recently brought its use—he dubbed it “pink slime”—to widespread attention. McDonald’s was using the chemical, also used in household cleaning products and homemade explosives, to render suitable for human consumption beef trimmings that usually get turned into dog food. After soaking in the chemical, the meat scraps were ground into a pink meatlike paste and used in lieu of ground beef. Now that’s one heck of a McDStory.