The other day, quite by accident, I learned that Samsung has a new phone coming called the Hercules. Maybe it’s because I’m a nerd or maybe it’s because I’ve been reading a lot of Avengers comics lately (okay, those are one and the same, really), but that struck me as the coolest name for a phone yet.
Hercules was, of course, the Greek demigod of strength and the son of Zeus. He also starred in his own 1960s cartoon, which was seemingly rerun forever (I have fond memories of Daedalus and Dido and, even though I was only a child, I used to think Helena was kind of hot). To us comic nerds, however, Hercules is and will forever be the Olympian who joined the Avengers, where he served as the poor man’s Thor whenever the god of thunder wasn’t around.
Regular readers may remember I recently wrote about how the smarter manufacturers are avoiding naming their devices with boring old model numbers and opting instead for sexy appellations, like the Droid or the Nexus. Given that the likeliest first buyers of all these fancy new gizmos are nerds like myself, perhaps these manufacturers should start catering to us further with even more nerd-appropriate names, just like Hercules.
In that vein, here are some potential names and ideas that would be huge sellers with the comic/nerd crowd:
8. Nokia Hulk: It’s a phone that turns green when the user gets angry. It also becomes unstable when the user is upset because, well, you wouldn’t like it when it’s angry.
7. Motorola Thor: It has all the specs of the Hercules but can also be thrown at people. Built-in magnets then return the phone to the user’s hand.
6. Windows Invisible Girl. Like the Fantastic Four’s Susan Storm Richards, the new phone from Microsoft can turn its users invisible. Oh wait, that has already happened…
5. Sony Ericsson Captain America: It’s a large, disc-shaped phone that can be strapped on the user’s arm. It’s made of vibranium, which absorbs all vibrations. So obviously it has no vibrate mode.
4. BlackBerry Wolverine: It has retractable claws for slashing people and a mind-boggling user interface that is guaranteed to drive the user berserk.
3. Apple iCeman: It covers the user with a sheath of ice. Okay, this one is ridiculous… I was just trying to cram an “i” phone onto the list.
2. LG Batman: Not only does it come packed with utilities, it also features a fun app that lowers the user’s voice to an unintelligible growl on calls.
1. HTC Spidey: It features an improved version of HTC’s well-regarded “Sense” interface, except this one sends the user notifications whenever they are in danger.