Winners & Losers: Tesla blows past perfect, Noel Biderman’s seperation

 

Tesla Motors

Impossible is nothing

Tesla car

Elon Musk does not abide by the same rules that constrict mere mortals. Musk, builder of rockets, laughs in the face of gravity. Musk, proponent of hurtling people at 1,000 kilometres per hour through tubes powered by air pressure, has little time for common sense. We must bend to his will. That’s what Consumer Reports learned this week when it reviewed the new Tesla Model S P85D. The electric car performed so well it scored an impossible 103 out of 100 on Consumer Reports’ rating system. The magazine was forced to revise its methodology, ultimately awarding the Tesla sedan a perfect 100. Testers were particularly impressed by the “insane” mode, which allows the vehicle to accelerate from 0 to 60 miles per hour in just 3.5 seconds. At a cost of US$127,820, the Tesla Model S is a car few people can afford, and it’s also the most expensive Consumer Reports has ever reviewed. The magazine also pointed out that long road trips could be difficult unless charging stations are widely available. But Musk is on top of that. Tesla already has 487 Supercharger stations around the world, and is building them at the rate of one per week. What might be of some concern is the fact that Tesla loses US$4,000 on every Model S it sells, but Musk wouldn’t be Musk if he worried about such terrestrial mathematics.

▼ Noel Biderman

Cheaters never prosper

Loser-Noel_Biderman-800x533

Aspiring screenwriter and frequent shh!-er Noel Biderman is stepping down as CEO of the parent company of Ashley Madison after a massive hack exposed the personal details of 37 million users of the extramarital affair site. The company said the decision was “mutual” and that parent company Avid Life would be led into the ground by the “existing senior management team.” News of the hack broke last month, but Biderman, who described himself as a happily married father of two, is resigning just days after private emails of his own surfaced that indicate he may have had multiple affairs. Biderman was a relentless publicity hound, publishing a book about marriage, posing for unfortunate pictures, and saying many things he probably wishes he hadn’t, such as: “We have done a really great job of making sure our data is kept secret.” Even with Biderman gone, it’s hard to see how Avid Life can carry on. The hack has proven user information was never really secure, and the company may have retained data even after users paid to have it deleted. An analysis of the leaked information found very few accounts belonged to women and that many of those accounts were probably fake, meaning Ashley Madison is essentially a service for men to launch grammatically incorrect pick-up lines and photos of their genitalia into the digital ether, never to be viewed or acknowledged. The company vowed to continue offering its valuable service. “We are steadfast in our commitment to our customer base,” it said.

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